1. You question yourself constantly.

While it seems like the ones who have “everything figured out” are the ones to envy, you know that’s not true. You know that if you never questioned yourself or your actions, you would go about your life blindly accepting everything that comes along. You know you don’t want that. You want to keep thinking and wondering if there is a better way to work, think, love etc. It’s not that you are never happy with where you are, but questioning yourself constantly is a sign that you are dedicated to improvement.

2. You’ve got more critics than friends.

People do not criticize those who they feel superior to. You can see that the superiority is a front. If someone is criticizing you, you know it is because you have something that they want. This is not some nice sentiment to make you feel better, this is a fact. You have come to understand that there is no limit to what people could be jealous of — ambition, security, stability, solitude, intimacy and whatever else. That’s how you know if you have critics, you are doing something right. Those who don’t have critics probably aren’t doing anything. Or worse yet, they are the critics.

3. You don’t want the same things you used to.

Acknowledging that you no longer want something is a powerful thing. We outgrow people, places, and things all the time. You know that there is no crime in that, the only crime is complacency for the sake of comfort. You have grown to understand that the discomfort in change is temporary, but regret can last a lifetime.

4. You say “no” all the time.

Within reason. You don’t want to cut yourself off from life completely. However, you realize how social engagements are like a transaction where you are paying effort and energy to hopefully gain something of worth in return. Those who yes to every social engagement probably are not benefiting in the long run. You pick and choose what you spend your time and energy on, and aren’t afraid to turn that time and energy inward to work on yourself. You understand that you do not owe anyone anything. Any person you deem worth keeping around for the long haul understands this and supports you.

6. You recognize when things aren’t meant for you.

The wonderful thing about taking everything personally for years is that eventually you get tired of it. You realize that it isn’t only unrealistic, it is detrimental to your mental health and well-being. You understand this, and have done what once seemed impossible. You have changed your categories from “good” and “bad” to “for me” and “not for me”. That ex? Not bad, just not for me. That rejection from that job? Just wasn’t meant for me. The more you have adopted this mentality, the less energy you find yourself wasting on trying to make things work out for you and the more you gravitate towards what feels right.

7. You know you are imperfect.

There is nothing that feels better than letting yourself be the flawed human being that you are. You find your power in tackling your weaknesses rather than showcasing your strengths. You know that anyone can showcase their strengths (just open Instagram). You know the true sign of a confident person worth being proud of, is one who knows where they can improve, and stops at nothing to do so.